


The strongest of weaklings

by Ranshiinsitha



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Betrayal, Blood and Gore, Childhood, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Drama, F/M, Gen, Murder, Partner Betrayal, Self Harm, Self hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-28 09:56:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranshiinsitha/pseuds/Ranshiinsitha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Well first than nothing **SELF HARM WARNING** it's at the very end and isn't very much but it is there and i wan't no flaming about it! I warned you, if you can't read it then don't read it but don't flame!</p><p>---Sesshomaru and Rin find a destroyed village and Rin witnesses several things that make her recall more things than she should, Sesshomaru tries to understand a new concept of strenght and finds Rin to be the best teacher.--- </p><p>Childhood flashbacks for both of them, tried to make the whole work as entertaining to read as possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The strongest of weaklings

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time i share a story of mine online since i was like 13, feels very very weird, but i hope everybody can enjoy this.
> 
> Rin's age is left untold, but she's not underage, i haven't watched the final act yet so im sorry if some things are off canon and they are, i wanted to add my personal touch to this whatsoever, Inutaishou still dies after the battle with Ryuukossei but events give a shitty twist.
> 
> Sess may be ooc in some parts but im experimenting, my headcanon is that he has that sweet spot for Rin but tries to hide it at times, also i thought he was really silly and happy as a pup.
> 
> Mentions of rape, abuse, etc, depspictions of murder and graphic violence, rated M for all of this.

It was a nice, warm and sunny morning when they camped near a small body of water. Little butterflies danced in the air, birds were singing happily still welcoming the new day as they flight around, describing various figures like swirls and circles, the breeze caressed their faces like the warm touch of a soft hand touching a newborn.

As they settled, Jaken took Ah-Uhn to drink something and maybe graze, if they happened to want;  Rin seemed calm as she looked around making some sort of mental map of the place they were in, this time she was not prancing around and bothering Jaken as she usually did, wich was weird.

Given that signal it was clear that something about her was different that morning,  Sesshomaru seemed to notice, but as usual, didn’t show it, didn’t know what it was, and didn’t bother asking Rin, if it was a important matter she would have told him first as always, he was however, sure she was going to recover from the traumatic  past night experience.

-Go get something more to eat, Rin- He spoke. –I’ll rest for a while, watch over Jaken, and don’t wander far.

-Yes Sesshomaru-sama! –she nodded in a quick motion and left his side immediately happily trotting to where Jaken and Ah-Uhn were, completely changing her behavior.

-You better take care of yourself, foolish girl-Jaken said pretending to be mad at her, with a displeased expression painted on his face when she walked towards him and Ah-Uhn – you’re always disturbing Lord Sesshomaru, and I still don’t understand how and why didn’t he kill you already, look at him, he’s TIRED, and so I am, and that’s all your fault!.

-Oh Jaken-sama –she giggled happily, as always- I promise I won’t get into trouble, besides, Ah-Uhn can look after me, isn’t that right? - Rin stated and turned her head to look at Ah-Uhn and they nodded responding to her.

-See? I’ll be fine – she smiled at the still irritated toad.

Jaken grumbled then, and walked away stepping hard against the ground, but not before telling Rin he was going to rest for a while as well so she better didn’t disturb him and Lord Sesshomaru with her trivial and weird human children activities, always pointing her index finger at her like it was some sort of accusation and she was the guilty victimizer. Rin nodded as she always did and rolled her eyes, tired of Jaken’s constant rambling over everything, especially during that morning, he has been calling her out for almost everything since earlier “Rin this, Rin that, Rin, no, Rin, don’t, Rin, you, Human, Foolish girl, How dare you” and a long list of etcs. She always liked Jaken despite that, despite everything she still liked him, and she often wondered if he liked her at least a little but he was so used to be around Sesshomaru so much he didn’t want to show any emotion, any “weakness”  in front of his master, but, however, it didn’t matter now, she was alone crouching at the border of the water body, and Ah-Uhn curled up to take a little break near Rin while she sat in the border of the clear lake, staring at her reflection and splashing in the water with her bare feet.

Some minutes passed and Rin made sure Ah-Uhn was asleep before silently walking away, she wasn’t feeling alright but it wasn’t a “this morning” thing.

**-Flashback- sort of.**

2 days ago they passed near a village that has been attacked by bandits, the smell of blood was disgusting, even for her and her human nose, the stench was everywhere, it has surely been a carnage. Sesshomaru noticed she was feeling sad about something when her scent changed slightly as they flight over the destroyed village. She wasn’t going to ask him to go down, why would he do such a thing? He lacks sympathy for humans, and this was just another destroyed village like oh so many others he had seen.

-You want to go down.

Rin jumped in surprise.

-Hai…

-You’re recalling memories of your childhood, aren’t you?

There were some seconds of silence until she nodded sadly, eyes closed and her already light smile completely faded away.

-Hm… -was the only sound that escaped him and his stoic expression remained unalterable.

She looked up at him from Ah-Uhn's saddle, he was staring into space and didn’t look back at her, in that moment the only thought she had was “He must be disgusted of me right now…” her face softened on a sad gesture but immediately stiffened in surprise when in a quick motion he had her under his arm and jumped down to the village.

After the soft and graceful landing he put her on the floor and just stood there allowing her to decide what to do. Rin slowly walked away, studying the village moving her head in all directions, fire burning bright, wood making those distinctive noises, corpses spread everywhere, with spears and arrows inside their bodies, deep slashes made by sharp swords almost tearing them in halves; some even had their guts out; every corpse with its respective puddle of blood. It seems that some even managed to drag themselves some steps from the spot they were initially attacked, but died right after, or a second blow quickly sealed their destiny. It was clearly not a single survivor here.

Then there was this small humble hut Rin walked towards; it was not in fire but it has been clearly attacked and robbed; she couldn’t see any corpses near the entrance, but as soon as she pushed the bamboo curtain and walked in she found the body of a beautiful woman lying inside; she wore bruises and cuts all over her naked body, her kimono, white with a delicate floral design featuring sakura petals and bamboo was at her side, and her silky black hair scattered around her head. The tears that ran down her eyes were still clearly visible painting her hit and dirty face and Rin’s heart clenched like her fists when she saw the torment on her lifeless expression; did they rape this woman? Did they torture and humiliate her until she died? What did these those bastards do to her…?

A single tear escaped Rin’s eyes and she crouched besides the beautiful naked and wounded woman, she felt such a deep sympathy towards this stranger she couldn’t explain, she used the kimono at the woman’s side to cover her up, and stayed there, on her knees, head low, fists clenched over her legs, fighting back tears and feeling all those things she couldn’t explain but finally made her start crying. All the memories of her home disbanded, raided and destroyed, her parents killed… Suddenly she thought about her mother, suffering the same fate of this unfortunate soul, and all she could do to manage the feeling of such a horrid image was scream in agony and cry.

She was young when that happened, she couldn’t understand death, torture, rape as she does now, and now she is unable to bear with the load of feelings that struck directly into the very core of her heart and soul.

Sesshomaru was already besides her, he came to see what happened as soon as he heard her scream, his claws flaring green very ready to attack, but then he realized she was crying over the body of a complete stranger, he raised his brow questioning, but this time his voice was silent and his questions unasked.

Rin stood up sobbing still and wiping her face on her sleeve as she examined the hut ignoring the presence of her protector, when she noticed there were other 2 lifeless bodies lying in a far corner. It was a man, and a baby, a small young baby. The man had a sword stuck on his back, it surely was a deadly wound, the baby… it wasn’t clear why he/she died, but Rin didn’t want to go check. “It could have been me that time…” she thought staring at the pale body of the small being, and turned her head to look at her Sesshomaru.

-Enough- He ordered immediately when she looked at him- We have to leave.

Rin just nodded like she was expecting that command. Sesshomaru didn’t understand how could she feel such empathy towards complete strangers, how could she cry, over a stranger. He tried to find a logic in such a strange behavior; the fact is that he never understood some things Rin did and demonstrated, how could she feel such an immense joy in chasing butterflies and other meaningless critters, or curling up on his lap in those cold winter nights, or how could she feel such an immense sorrow just because some random village was raided and she found a dead woman.

But the fact is that if she needed to let those things out for her own sake and welfare he had to allow her; she needed to be healthy. “Do humans need to suffer to be healthy?...” he thought.

His train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted when he felt Rin violently hugging his arm after running towards him, she rubbed her face against his kimono holding his hand and fingers with her small ones; he closed his fist in response, walking away with her still holding his hand.

-I’m sorry about that My Lord- she apologized looking down at the floor.

Sesshomaru stopped walking, what was she apologizing about?

-About what? Rin.

-About being weak… -and she looked up at him with huge sad eyes, brown pools filled with sadness and rests of tears.

-Mhh….

-Is Lord Sesshomaru angry…?

-No, this Sesshomaru isn’t angry, but this Sesshomaru wants to ask Rin a simple question.

Rin’s eyed popped open in surprise.

-Why do you need to do this? I can’t seem to find the point.

-Rin needs to… Rin needs…

By the way Sesshomaru stared at her after her response it was clear he needed more than a “Rin needs” for an answer, but she couldn’t explain her human nature to him; what if she tried to and he ended understanding her even less? She didn’t know what his thought about her really were, even after years of travelling together his feelings towards her were uncertain; he protected her, fed her, took care of her, saved her, but was her just his possession or his trophy? Why would the Lord of the West carry a defenseless, weak and dependant girl around with him anyways? She always thought about that but never got an answer; she was reluctant to ask him as well.

-What does Rin need?

His deep baritone made her shiver.

-I… just…. I don’t know how to explain, Lord Sesshomaru… I’m just a human, I feel… human things…

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow, encouraging her to continue, thing she did after noticing his response.

-It’s just… I don’t remember that much from my childhood, but that even still makes Rin’s chest hurt –she closes her fist against her chest and for a moment is about to start crying, but manages to hold it back- Rin still misses mommy and Daddy, Rin is very very happy with Lord Sesshomaru! But… human children love their parents, because they give us love, and care about us, they feed us and play with us, and… -she looks down, her fist still against her chest- I cannot properly explain, those trivial human feelings… Sesshomaru-sama.

Trivial human feelings? Yeah, she thought that was the right word to use “trivial” she never saw Sesshomaru mourning or suffering, maybe because he’s a youkai, but don’t youkai have parents? Don’t do all parents care about their offspring anyways? Yeah indeed… maybe she was thinking way too much about it…

Sesshomaru freed his hand from her grip, and placed it between her shoulder blades, bringing her against his side with a single soft push. While Rin felt kind of taken aback for her Lords sudden gesture she just closed her eyes and pressed her body against his for some seconds until he gently pushed her away, his face remained emotionless staring into the sky as the wind and the warm air caused by the fire made his hair move majestically. She looked up at him waiting for a command, a question, or whatever he wanted to say, and he didn’t have to wait much until he finally talked, calm as always.

-Jaken and Ah-Uhn left. It’s getting late and we must leave.

-Hai.

-Would you be scared to see this Sesshomaru’s true form?

As he asked the concern was noticeable in his tone and while his expression and corporal language remained the same the melodic curve of his voice slightly fluctuated, noticing it she grabbed his hand again reassuringly, smiling at him for some seconds in silence. She was surprised by the fact that he asked her about her opinion. Was he truly concerned about her welfare and would he sacrifice the chance of traveling faster only for her to feel safe?

-I will take that as a no. Besides is getting late for you to be awake; we will arrive to our destination in 2 more days, until then you can travel in this Sesshomaru’s back, and if you need to go down for something you only have to say it.

She nodded understandingly and Sesshomaru gently pushed her away with his hand as his eyes became red and his demonic aura expanded, his face shape shifting into a pointy and menacing dog muzzle full of teeth and his youkai markings became more jagged until his whole person turned into a giant white inu with menacing red eyes, muscular body, huge paws and his crescent moon marking still on his forehead. Rin stared in awe and gave a couple of steps back, he couldn’t smell any fear in her reaction whatsoever. After admiring him for a brief instant and with a amused expression painted on her face she climbed onto his back and found shelter on his mokomoko; holding tight and curling up to spend the night Rin still couldn’t wash those memories off her mind, and while all the novelty she was living now was comforting and amusing at the same time she couldn’t help but feel utterly sad about herself once again for the very first time since she was a small child. Her state didn’t escape Sesshomaru’s senses, he looked back slightly trying to see her but she was hiding on his fur, he let out a small sigh disguised as a yawn and took the skies with a quick jump.

A couple of hours passed after they resumed their travel, it was nearly 4am if time was important for some matter; instead of following Jaken and Ah-Uhn Sesshomaru decided to go in a completely different direction, Rin wouldn’t notice, besides she was already asleep. He descended to a clear valley nearby a forest; it wasn’t usual for the Demon Lord to sleep in the open but no one would be so foolish to attack him in his true form. Well who knows, humans and demons can be so damn stupid…

He shook his head dismissing those foolish thoughts and laid down curling up to spend the night. He however did not fall asleep and spent the whole night recalling memories from his early childhood.

Everything was different when he was a pup, so different.

**-flashback-**

-Father, Father! You’re back!

A eager pup ran fast as lightning to his father’s embrace.

-How are you doing, little one?

The greater dog demon asked tenderly pressing his offspring against his stomach with a single arm.

The little ecstatic pup started to narrate all the amazing adventures and discoveries he lived and made during his absence; his father smiled down at him with a loving clawed hand placed over the thrilled one’s head. Sesshomaru’s amber eyes were full of life happiness and expressiveness as he clung onto his father’s armor and told him about his hunts, how he was managing to control his demon skills and some lesser demon kills he did, he was definitely exploding in joy and happiness.

-Inutaishou.

The Regal Western Lady emerged from the nowhere; although she always looked powerful and intimidating her sire could smell the disappointment and hurt emanating from her. His expression puzzled, questioning and in a dismissible gesture he pat Sesshomaru’s head and walked towards his wife passing by him as the confused pup stared with huge questioning eyes full of concern regarding his mother’s scent and his father’s abrupt reaction.

Both Dog Demon Lords retired to their chambers leaving Sesshomaru completely alone and directionless in the hall.

*Months later*

-LADY IRASUE, LADY IRASUE!

The dog servant barked in complete desperation and fell in front of her seconds after storming into the hall without the slightest etiquette.

The scandal did not escape Sesshomaru’s sensitive ears and he couldn’t help but go find out what the fuss was about. Silent as a predator he scurried to the hall through the corridors and stairs.

When he finally made it to the hall hid behind a corner on top of the last set of stairs and listened at the agitated, desperate, exhausted and nearly dying of oxygen lack servant announcing his father’s death to his mother.

Sesshomaru almost howled but managed to stay collected and calm, his expression, however gave him out as tears formed in the corner of his wide eyes and fell down his cheeks. 

However, his mother did not show a hint of sadness.

-His affairs killed me time ago, we’re both dead.

Irasue laughed almost sadistically, and signed the servant to leave, who submissively obeyed without second guessing leaving through the door and closing it behind him.

As soon as the door closed Irasue growled deep down her chest, avoiding a howl of agony, not aware of his son’s presence in the hall, she began to talk to herself.

-Shameless bastard… you dare to fucking die! You dare to fucking die, in top of what you did to me you fucking die! I should bring you back and kill you again!

Sesshomaru felt a shiver travel down his spine at his mother’s chattering. Her scent was filled with agony, hatred, sadness, sorrow, hurt, pity, rejection and… love? Could that be? What did his father do to her? What she mentioned about him doing something to her and then dying.

Irasue pulled her hair falling down on her knees with a grievous expression, bare fangs and tears streaming down her face, she didn’t want to cry so growled instead shutting her eyes with determination.

The pup couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist inside him at his mother’s display of agony and hatred towards his father, it was the weirdest mix of emotions.

She let her body fall on the floor and cried in silence for what seemed hours but were just minutes; Sesshomaru couldn’t take it any longer, so he cautiously approached his agonizing mother, trying to not make any noise but show her with his corporal language that he was aware of her current suffering.

She faced him, instead of a warm and welcoming motherly expression The Western Lady showed him intense anger and agony. Sesshomaru gave a couple of steps back, his mother proceeded to ignore him and after a while he retired to his bedroom without saying a word to her.

Things changed abruptly at the next day for the young taiyoukai; his mother became coldblooded, distant and indifferent towards him. The more he tried to understand the less answers he got.

He started to hear rumors about his mother wanting to send him far away, about a half brother and a human bitch of his father. Those sleepless nights made his head spin around things he couldn’t understand; the cruelty and coldness of his mother alone made him feel less than crap, but now all the rumors about stuff he wasn’t able to comprehend began to push him over the edge.

It wasn’t like he was going to flip his shit, he was a very collected pup, but for now he was done _asking_ for an answer, he’s going to _demand_ one.

His expression changed, he was done sobbing and wondering, he was going to talk and demand, his fangs showed a little on his menacing grin; walking with determination and elegancy he descended the various sets of stairs to her mother’s place. She as expected, was sitting on her throne; gave him a cold look above the shoulder, not showing a hint of surprise or any other emotion after seeing his son’s corporal language and smelling his distinctive scent.

With a fast walk Sesshomaru quickly made it in front of his mother, stood still and poised like he was going to attack, staring directly into the very bottom of her eyes.

-Mother of mine, I demand to know the reason of your behavior; as the heir of the Western Lands, and you offspring I know I have that right.

His mother curled the corner of her mouth upwards on a mockery, he snarled slightly in defiance.

Once again but sounding less formal and more defiant this time Sesshomaru spoke.

-I have nothing to do with my father’s doings! Why do you take it on me!? What did I do mother?

Lady Irasue softened her expression and leant closer, with his lids half closed she almost whispered in a sadistic tone.

-Yes you have. You’re part of him; want to know what that disgraceful bastard of your father did? He bedded a human, yes, a human bitch, he mated with her and got her pregnant, on top of that the hanyou survived and now walks this heart, yes, your half brother, a despicable hanyou, destroyed our lineage and killed me, killed my honor, killed my marriage and the love I felt for your father, your father and you, all that you represent are dead for me. You’ll still inherit your title, but I don’t want you here ever again, I don’t want to smell a trace of your scent until you’re old enough to take your charge, I’ll send you with your tutor and better get used to be on your own. Thank that human wench, son.

-Human…wench? Mated? My… half brother? Did father betray us?

His menacing expression changed into a shocked one, his eyes open and now looking down to the floor, his mother however did not care about his son’s sadness.

-Learn this Sesshomaru, humans and demons can be equally shitty beings, here you have the proof, but if it was not for that wench your father would be reminded with honor, and nothing would have changed. Now pack your things, you’re already leaving.

After that statement Irasue stood up and walked by her son; his tutor was already expecting to collect him, she wasn’t going to tell him how she was feeling and that he had to part until it the last second, however she was going to avoid the feelings part, since he insisted now she didn’t really care, the pain she was going through was greater than common sense and motherly instincts.

Sesshomaru packed some f his belongings and retired to a far corner of the Western lands with his demon tutor; a great, experienced and highly skilled dog yukai who trained and instructed him on the ways and skills of his kind until he reached his early adulthood and left the Lands to wander around on his own. So many things changed during those years of training and isolation, the memories of his father betrayal and his mother acts left a mark on him, even if he managed to block those memories he still carried a scar within.

His hatred towards human kind grew and grew, he never cared about finding a reason for it nor the hatred he felt towards his half brother, he swore to slay the bastard and save his family’s lineage.

_Humans… fucking humans killed his family…_

The great dog demon shook his head violently and stood up quick nervously. _The fuck was that!?_ He checked his back to corroborate his precious load was still safe and she was, still sleeping. He let out a sigh of relief and lied down again.

_-I understand… you still can become an orphan even if your family is still alive… It doesn’t matter if they live if they don’t love you, if they die it doesn’t mean they stopped loving you, they died loving you and it’s harder… I suppose..._

For a second he almost felt pity for Rin but once again quickly dismissed those foolish thoughts. Would Sesshomaru go back to his Lands to see the mother that said he was dead to her? Maybe… Now he questioned himself.

His head was spinning of thinking so much about things he wasn’t used to think; the sudden scream of agony took him off his cloud.

His wet nose pushed her little body as she squirmed, trembled and cried in her nightmare; Rin woke up and after some seconds realized she was safe, hugged her Sesshomaru’s nose and sobbed.

-Rin had a horrible nightmare Sesshomaru-sama…

He couldn’t reply with words but made a low sound indicating he was listening at her.

-I dreamed those bandits raped mommy and made daddy watch, I dreamed they struck her in the stomach, the face and the back with a piece of wood, daddy was there tied up and calling her while those bad men abused her, daddy was crying so was mommy; I was picking up berries when I heard and ran up to find out what happened; the door curtain moved aside I saw what was happening but when I ran towards home it started to move far and far away, I couldn’t reach it, I couldn’t help none of them and when I finally made it to reach the house they were dead and cold, there was so much blood, so much blood everywhere! Rin doesn’t like the smell of blood; it smells so bad, it makes Rin feel so sad!

He lowered his ears and closed his eyes as she cried disconsolately bending over her stomach and covering her face with her hands. Sesshomaru licked her body tenderly, his tongue however was huge and almost bathed her unintentionally, nuzzled her and made soothing noises, slightly waging his fluffy tail for her; Rin smiled when noticed his gestures and gave his lethal muzzle a big hug, the biggest she could give him due to the obvious size difference.

-I’m so sorry My Lord.

He gently pushed her back to where she was sleeping and once she curled back he found his own position to wait for the next morning. _Nothing to apologize about…_

The sun was up in the sky early in the morning and the warm breeze welcomed every early bird including her; who found herself alone, her Dog protector was nowhere to be found, at least not visually, which was weird taking his size into consideration; maybe he wasn’t on his true form anymore. However that wasn’t as important as it was to know where he went and if he was okay, well, he was surely okay, he is Sesshomaru-sama after all.

Rin chuckled at her silly thoughts sat up and looked around; a skinned rabbit lied on a mattress of leaves besides a little fire; Sesshomaru has killed it and lighted the fire for her but didn’t cook it, so after stretching out and rubbing her face Rin walked some meters until she found a quite long and flexible branch to impale the rabbit in, she nailed it on the floor and left the rabbit cooking, it would take a while and she could use that time to find her Sesshomaru.

While Rin looked for him, Sesshomaru stood at the border of a cliff near where he left her; staring aimlessly into the morning sky his expression was unreadable; many thoughts about the past night’s flashback flooded his mind and wouldn’t let him alone. Isn’t that he was really considering going to see his mother but he was thinking differently about Rin, he was seeing her differently, felt like he was actually understanding part of her pain as a human orphan.

To him strength was a matter of physical ability, mental and physical adaptability, skills to give birth functional and almost perfect schemes, strategies, to him strength relied on the ability to defend yourself against any opponent, in being independent, in being feared, respected or even looked upon, he knew he was strong, he has proved himself this fact many times. But now he saw strength in her smile, in her joy, in her youthful energy, he saw strength in her daily struggle to be herself and carry on, as a human, as a strong weakling with that horrid past behind her, somebody who still enjoyed life even if she was completely defenseless and dependant on him.

No matter how many carnages he witnessed or caused himself, he never saw the persons that loved him the most and he loved the most dying in front of him; he never had the disgrace to witness such a scene at such a fragile age; the death of his family was different, it was another kind of death… a death in the end but only emotional, he knew he could go to the Western Lands any day and try to make it up with his mother, but Rin would never see her progenitors again, and the last picture of them she had was horrible; not to mention her afterlife on the human village before he found him, constantly beaten and mistreated by her very own kind.

Despite everything, her physical inability to defends herself she possesses a different kind of strength. A light smile formed in the corner of his mouth and faded away as quickly as it appeared. _My strong girl…_

-Oh! I knew you couldn’t be far!!

The girl seemed recovered from the last night, prancing happily as always, or at least that’s what she was trying to make it look like, her scent was different and he of course could smell it even if she faked her smile in the most perfect way, he wasn’t a human to be fooled that way.

-Rin.

-Is Lord Sesshomaru ok? Your eyes are red, but not like they look when you’re angry, they look like Lord Sesshomaru has been crying, why are you crying? It’s because of Rin’s fault?

_Crying? I didn’t even realize I felt like crying._

-Stop. This Sesshomaru never cries, I don’t know which witchcraft this may be but This Sesshomaru is certainly NOT crying. Move on, as soon as you’re done with your meal we’re leaving.

Sesshomaru didn’t feel he was crying, he was way too focused in other things, but why on Earth was he even crying? He almost facepalmed but that would give him out, saying nothing, and expressing nothing he calmly walked with Rin and made her company until she was done eating.

After extinguishing the fire they resumed their travel; it was easy for Sesshomaru to track down Jaken and Ah-Uhn; they were waiting on a clear valley with a small lake and as soon as the Lord of the West made his appearance the toad imp frenetically ran towards him shouting all kinds of greetings and expressing how worried he was about his disappearance and stuff.

But however, it wasn’t all happiness, Jaken instantly started to nag Rin blaming her for Sesshomaru’s sudden disappearance. She didn’t usually care but after almost an hour after they settled it became obnoxious.

They moved to a more suitable spot to rest and spend the day and next night.

-Back to the present moment-

After scurrying away from Ah-Uhn’n sight she silently explored the border of the perfectly crystal clear lake, sat in there near some rocks and looked at her reflection in the water.

She was sad, yes, she was sad, in fact she was much more than just “sad” after witnessing what she witnessed the other night and reviving such sorrowful memories.

Feeling utterly awful Rin just sighed closing her eyes for a second and just half opening them right after, glancing over some rock shards not far from her, she crawled a little, picked one and stared at it with a pained but numb at the same time expression.

-I don’t know… I wish I could bring them back… tell them that I miss them, tell them that Rin is sorry… tell them that… -closing her eyes trying to contain her tears she pressed the tip of the rock shard against the skin of her left arm after pulling the sleeve of her kimono up, but she did not harm herself yet-… I’m not strong enough… I’m such a weak girl, if it wasn’t for Lord Sesshomaru…I’d be dead!

The drained and grievous girl slashed her arm once biting her lower lip until it bled too. She didn’t scream, she didn’t make a single noise more than a single heavy nose pant after the maximum point of pain passed and it began to spread around her bleeding wound.

She still wanted to cry, and the more she thought about crying the more she wanted to hurt herself again, so she did, to avoid crying she slowly began to cut her skin, watching the blood come to the surface and drip from her arm to the soil and the transparent water, staining it.

Some seconds passed, Rin flexed her still bleeding arm holding the stained rock shard in her other hand, looked at her reflection in the lake once again but hers wasn’t the only reflection here, and in the same instant she realized it his hand was gripping her wrist so hard she thought it was going to snap.

-Let, go. Drop it, right now.

The girl tried to fight back but didn’t last much; he twisted her arm until she was against the floor.

-I said, drop it.

As soon as the bloody rock shard hit the floor he brought her against his body on a single motion and hugged her protectively, falling on his knees in front of the girl.

Rin let out a couple of sobs burying her face on his neck, keeping her bloody arm away from Sesshomaru’s white kimono.

Loosening his hug and making sure his previous grip didn’t hurt her wrist, and it didn’t, he quickly reached for her wounded arm and stared at it with the same emotionless expression, but Rin could read him like a book and saw the sorrow on his face.

-I…

-You are not weak.

-Wh…what?

-You are not weak Rin!

She violently shook her arm free from him and looked at the floor fighting back tears, she felt like Sesshomaru was blatantly lying to her, having sympathy for this weakling he had to bring back from a pathetic death and take care of like a father, of course she was weak, there was no other thing in this world to call her. Lost, alone, beaten and dependant on the strongest demon alive to breath and to be happy.

-I can smell your fear. What are you afraid of?

There was no answer, the Western Lord stared at her in silence, questioning. It felt like a life time passed during their mute conversation; he closed his amber eyes to bring her wounds against his lips, slightly opening his mouth, softly and slowly ran his tongue along her slashes several times until the bleeding stopped. Rin froze in shock, he was cleaning her wounds, he was taking care of her, and he was being so gentle, a single tear ran down her cheek and she controlled the impulse of placing her free hand on his head. He gave a soft kiss to her arm and licked his lips after looking back at her.

It took her some moments to realize it, but she did it.

-I didn’t mean to hurt Sesshomaru-sama, I didn’t mean to hurt myself either. I was just… letting the poison drip…

-There’s no poison Rin, these imprudent acts won’t erase the memories of your past, there’s no point, as I smelled the essence of your blood any other demon could do it, do you know some demons yearn for human flesh.

Then silence, no response from the girl who knew his statement was right, both statements actually. Sesshomaru didn’t want to seem too concerned but he was feeling almost afraid of not being able to protect her, from herself… With all the thoughts he had and pieces he recently connected, Sesshomaru also realized something: Shebecame _his_ weakness, and the fear he smelled on her moments ago was his own, his fear of losing the girl that taught him about this new form of strength, the girl that was so foolish or _brave_ to take care of him that time, the girl that wasn’t afraid of the Lord of the Western lands, loved him for who he was and not for his title nor loved him for fear, and gave him unconditional love, human love but love in the end, maybe demons need love too; love feels so good.

-My...My Lord you are smiling? Are you hurt?

The concerned look of the girl with the bloody lip staring at him from below brought him back to Earth.

-Yes and no- Said on a mockery smiling still- I was just thinking, are you happy with This Sesshomaru? At least at times?

-Yes...yes yes! Rin is very happy with Sesshomaru-sama! But…as Rin explained, humans are different from demons, humans need other humans, I mean, I don’t need other humans, I don’t want other humans… humans hurt Rin many times, humans killed Rin’s parents. Rin couldn’t defend herself nor her parents from those humans, I bet Sesshomaru-sama would have them killed in less than a second with his claws… -She lowered her sight and grabbed his clawed hand with both of hers- …but Rin is defenseless and weak… Sesshomaru-sama doesn’t need to feel sympathy for Rin, Rin knows her place.

-This Sesshomaru never feels sympathy, you, anyways don't need it.

He moved his claw to her face, grabbing her chin staring her in the eye.

-Rin is so strong she’s This Sesshomaru’s only weakness.

Her eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat as his gaze kept fixated on her.

-If you are weak, then im also weak. And now foolish girl... allow This Sesshomaru to clean that busted lip of yours. 


End file.
